Teryy Richardson / PONgurt

24 03 2010

So there I am, at the Whole Foods at Houston and Bowery, twiddling through my phone whilst eating a Chocolate yogurt ( no, regretfully, Chocolate yogurt is nothing like pudding, I wish). I am engrossed in an article where Terry Richardson reacts to the allegations that he is a sex fiend ( duh/ omg I am forever disturbed after reading about his used tampon fetish, I kid you not….) when this earthy, wet soil-y taste floods my mouth.

I look down. The spoonful of yogurt which is about to land right SMACK into my grill is GREEN.

and furry.

and.

besieged with MOLD.

The cup of yogurt has a fine carpet of mossy, green, fluffy MOLD sporing every which way.

My immediate reaction is to eject the contents of my mouth, before it’s too late. I do NOT want to die in  a fucking Whole Foods.  I take a brown, bio-degradable napkin and spit out the mold juice. The fucking eco friendly napkin has in-adequate absorption and a mess is being made. The group of 3 Parisian hipsters who I had been overhearing speaking about how they’re pissed at the Misshapes because they can’t dj their party on Wednesday bc Leigh has some Chanel ambassador obligation, stop their FASCINATING convo to be like “oh its cool, she’s puking too, like us, but have some tact and duck into the bathroom first.”

Yadda, yadda, yadda I got my $1.29 back for the MOLDgurt PLUS a $20 gift card to buy more ‘gurt. So it was a good day.

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One response

24 03 2010
vagranting

the day would’ve been better (IMO) if you had gotten the $1.29, the 20 bill gift certificate, AND eaten the rest of the moldgurt. hey, there’s a food shortage. gotta be a member of the clean plate club, ryte?

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